It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize