how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
