Even water is tasting like jack daniels
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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