So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
