we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
