i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
