I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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