i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize