Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
