Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
