Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
