Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
