i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
