Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize