Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
