I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
