sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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