Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
