I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
