Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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