The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
