he thought i was a dude.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
