That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
