Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Who put my cat in the fridge?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize