sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
