So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
