When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You pole danced in your parka.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
