she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
