She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
