Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
