Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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