I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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