Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
They are going to name an STD after you.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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