I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
