I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
