I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
ok first of all what the fuck
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
