Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
