I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
