im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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