turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
