Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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