Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The air taste purple.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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