can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if only i could text you this smell
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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