Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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