Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
