Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
