What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
