Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
