Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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