Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
