if you like me you must not know who I am
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
