The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
