She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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