i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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