"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
