Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize