i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize