I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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