Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
