I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
