"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
