So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
