If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
