THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
