u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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